Back from the dead

Well... it certainly has been a while... there are no really good excuses, but plenty of bad ones, so let's just move on to an update, shall we?

My growth as an artist and my growth as a spiritual being are inseparably linked. Two years ago, when I first joined the meditation circle that would change my life, I soon after embarked on a path to unblock myself creatively, a 12 week course called The Artist's Way. I cannot even begin to fully explain how that book/course/journey changed me and my life for the better. Since then, I have left the meditation circle and, together with Sarah and some friends, formed an active neopagan/spiritual circle that meets for Sabbats and has temporarily filled the void of the circle. But it lacks the oomph that the circle had- the sacred weekly routine, the energy, the constant facing of dreams and fears and perpetual self-discovery. I have missed that.

I have continued to grow as a writer, however. Every day I am amazed at the patterns in myself and other authors that I recognize, the obstacles we create and maneuver around, the mystery of creativity. Looking at my art as an act of worship, I have been unable to remain blocked for very long, and the blocks I do encounter are transparent or ludicrous (I don't know if she should have red hair or brown hair. How can I write the rest of this novel if I don't know what my main character looks like? ::whine::). I am grateful for my growth.

But, as you've noticed a lack of entries here, in a shared blog of two spiritual adventurers, I've been missing out on the sacredness of this life- outside of writing. Last weekend we held an open Litha ritual that was the most wonderful, powerful ritual yet, and I touched Divinity once again that afternoon, fingers running through soft, familiar grasses, shoulders drenched in sunlight. I am stable as a writer once again, passionate and creative, at the height of my strength like the height of the sun that day, but a balance must constantly be striven for. True, writing is my life, but I am much more than that. I am a daughter, friend, sister, student, warrior, and lover as well as an artist, and one day I hope to consider myself a priestess.

Prayer, an act that once seemed laughable and foolish to me in my too-cool-for-school youth, has been begging at my lips for a voice. I am teeming with unspoken gratitude, love, and compassion that I have become desperate to share with Divinity. On the downswing of the wheel of the year I am reaffirming my beliefs, setting my feet firmly upon my path, and, slow and steady like the Bull I am, discovering myself, Spirit, and all the Gods amidst the magic and mayhem of our irrational world.

~Madeline