Speak of the Goddess and She shall appear

Well it's been a while, but I'm back...

I've been dealing with some health concerns lately. In my life, I've learned that health problems are always related to a spiritual lesson or caused by spiritual concerns: I've suffered from sciatica caused by a herniated disc above my tailbone (Root Chakra, anyone?) that affected my left leg (female energy) and that only after years of inner-journeying and contemplation and determination was I able to get under a semblance of control; as a Taurus, my throat is my weak body part (Fifth Chakra), and as a writer that is some scary symbolism. I've always been shy, but in the past few years, since making some personal vows, I've begun to open up a lot, and with that my writing has become a daily act of worship instead of a once in a blue moon event.

Anyway, I've been dealing with toxicity and menstrual stuff lately (FUN) and today I've been feeling terrible: shaking, weak, exhausted, hyper-emotional (not bitchy or depressed, thank the gods). I had determined earlier this week that I would begin a cleanse on Sunday, so I should have expected that my body would begin to violently detox on its own (it's what happens when I tell myself I'm going to cleanse).

I looked up "goddess of healing" on google (because I'm tired and taking a sick day from the weekend ;p) and skimmed over a few familiar names, before I saw a link for a mantra for healing. Following the link, I discovered the bodhisattva Tara, or Buddhist goddess Tara (originally a Hindu goddess and possibly a variation on Kali). I've never heard of her, and that makes me sad because I've studied Buddhism in college, and she should have been mentioned as she is a popular figure for female Buddhists.

But, anyway, I am so excited by this discovery! Even as I type I'm being pulled towards further investigation, beyond the lengthy Wikipedia article. Already they make reference to her glowing like the moon, embodying feminine compassion and strength, how in her different colors/aspects she represents different energies that we can invoke. I am going to meditate on her today, use her mantra "oṃ tāre tuttāre ture svāhā," and see what happens.

I've always been strongly drawn to Hinduism and Buddhism; Sarasvati and Ganesh are two of my favorite deities. Ok, I've always been drawn to polytheism in general but that just goes to prove the common answer to the question "how long have you been a pagan?": "Well, I've been a pagan all my life but I only realized it [X] years ago."

Exciting stuff! It's always nice when new deified faces come into your life for one reason or another.

Oh, and speaking of meditation, look forward to another update in regards to that!

Brightest Blessings,
Madeline

ps: don't mind the sloppiness of this entry... I'm sick ;P

Living Spirit

Last week we had a Full Moon ritual at my apartment, including drumming beforehand and tea after. As it was the first full moon of the calendrical new year, we continued with the theme of goals and resolutions, as well as the constant reflection of gratitude. It was a wonderful night, and one of the few group rituals I have of yet participated in. Ever since the poor experience Sarah and I had a few years ago while attempting priestess training, we have been wary of working with groups. We grew wary, and weary, of the ceremonious and uptight rites that each event seemed to be, with so many rules and rote repetition. Ritual must be performed by body and soul, not just memorization and guidelines. There are four in our group, not thirteen, and we will expand and contract as we wish. It happened by chance that we have two male and two female, but that would never be a prerequisite, because after all, aren't we all spirit anyway?

For me, that is one reason why each ritual we have had (two, now) with our group has been powerful. Because we don't follow rules or make it anything less than a good experience. We invoke on the fly, from our hearts, as it should be. The most powerful ritual that I have ever participated in was Sarah's hand-fasting, when we realized we'd forgotten the broom and all of the people in the circle came together to collect branches and twigs to make a crude replacement. It was spur of the moment, a mistake even, but that "broom" has more love and well-wishes and power in it than the other one ever could have, and that ritual, because of that moment, became the most powerful.

I am trying to incorporate more than just Sabbats and Esbats into my spiritual life. I maintain a perspective that is in line with my spiritual beliefs in all of my affairs- I try to live my faith, and that is what is most important. But I would also like to bring the symbolism and magic of personal rituals into it as well. I have prayer beads, but no prayers to speak with them; I would like to meditate, but time just seems to slip away (she says as she writes in her second blog...). I would like to start walking every day to get in touch with my environment, but it can be so bitterly cold here in Buffalo during the long months of winter (or the short- February is often the worst of the winter months here).

But I suppose if life has taught me anything it is that I will not get what I want by making excuses as to why it is difficult ;p I supposed I should just... do it. It will take form on its own, I am certain.

Brightest Blessings,

Madeline

Hail and Welcome!

Sarah and I have been pagans for a long, long time, but we've both been writers our whole lives. What better way to combine our passions than with a blog on spirituality? The wintertime is a dream-time, and the perfect time to begin a journal of reflections, musings, and spontaneous declarations of the beauty of It All. First, a little bit about myself (I will leave Sarah to tell you about herself ;D).

I am a neo-pagan of an eclectic and wandering path. I am still discovering, as we all are, new gods and goddesses, ways of worship, and sacred acts that resonate with me, and I have found that these things change in accordance with my personal growth and challenges. My faith is strong and my beliefs are fluid, changing and growing as I do to reflect my expanded consciousness and (hopefully) wisdom. I am a Taurus, and I can get pretty excited about things, not to mention passionate, so expect intense entries about the sheer awesomeness of the universe and its mysteries from me.

In addition to all that, I am a writer, screenwriter, video artist, director, musician, visual artist, and performance artist. Essentially, I am an artist, and I consider each act of creation an act of worship. I am also a media study student at the University at Buffalo, a sister, daughter, lover, friend, and witch. Besides publishing many novels and making many movies, I would like to open a coffee shop/juice bar some day in my hometown :)

I hope that what you find in this blog will help and inspire you along your own spiritual path, no matter what creed!

Brightest Blessings,
Madeline