Balance

As an artist, mundane activities are rarely mundane for me. Always, there is poetry in the glint of light off of a windshield, or the splatter of unknown liquids on the pavements; music in the muffled sounds in the stairwell of my apartment building, or the honking of seals in the zoo across the road. And yet, sometimes, contrary to my Taurean nature, weekly routine and a well laid path can drive me crazy. The seeds of my frustration are buried in schoolwork and classes, in buraucracy and poor communication, all of which are obstacles in the way of all that I really want: time, to write, and to make art.

I found myself in a particularly vicious pit of frustration this weekend, as unexpected free time could have afforded me an opportunity to write. But, the problem was that I could not decide what to write. I could not decide because I was afraid that I was not ready to work on one project or another, and if I began that I would ruin it straight off. So, unable to decide, I accomplished nothing. Already, in the midst of the holiday weekend, I was forgetting the equinox just recently passed and the lesson it was supposed to remind me of: balance. I slept that day, sleep that I desperately needed. Could I see that at the time? No. I was so intent on constantly moving forward that rest was not even an option.

Balance is essential, even in the stubbornly, aggressively driven (such as I can be on occasion). Having a dream and manifesting that dream is a sacred pursuit, and deserves attention and energy, but not so much that you begin to lose focus on the rest of your world. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience, but the body and brain are physical things that must be cared for, not exhausted.


So, this season of Ostara, I will be sure to keep its lessons in mind. While fertility abounds, it is only after a long (in Buffalo, loooooooong) winter during which the natural world has slumbered deeply. I can't keep pushing forward, from one novel to the next, all the while living a second life as a student with completely different responsibilities and priorities. I need time for myself, and for sacred moments, and for divine play.

Daily meditation would be a good idea... only who has time for that? ;p

~Madeline